自強之路

 

To be candidate, I never, ever once doubt my comprehension in English, and all my students, for the past 15 years, no matter young or adults, female or masculine, smart or wise, no matter who are entering in graduate schools or who are now English teachers, probably may agree with that too. I would neither ever think of my English problem as the reason why I didn't make it this time. Too poor my grades to show what I've learned in terms of my experiences of English? Not a chance.
 
Dear Father, I am really no illusionist, and you know that well. But why would you make me like this? Why would you leave me in such an agony of humiliation and deep frustration, to have been tripped over in my own expertise? I came to believe maybe I will be for another purpose, no need to be further drilling in English field. Honest to say, I think there's little space for me to improve my English skills, at least not very efficient, for the time being. However, I had such a fit to study further last year. And you know this too. What was the feeling for? Did I mistake your words? I know theology is my calling. But why not English? Besides, there is no graduate school of theology in Taiwan authorized acknowledged. I would be so eagerly to get acknowledged not only by you, but them, those who don't know you yet. I think this is the so-called "well equipped", according to my definition, of course. ^ ^ 

I wonder what on earth you would like me to do...to avoid those meaningless competitions to catch a breath of vanity? Why can't you just grant me such a tiny wish to get PHD, since that seems not so difficult for me? I don't know. Is that vanity too? Don't I look more persuasive as a docotor to tell others your way? Maybe I have to discuss with you some more to see what happened and what will happen next. By the way, with tears, how long should I still have to learn from the lesson "obedience" and "wait and hope"? > <:>