「若是能行,總要盡力與眾人和睦。」 羅馬書 12:18
"If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men." Romans 12:18

以下對話節錄自蓋比的日記:(中翻英)
The following is adapted from Grumpy's diary: (Chinese-English translation)
咖啡茶棧小對話
A Quaint Dialogue in Cafe

我:「歡迎光臨~飲料、咖啡、冰沙全面75折喔!」
I: Welcome to CET, coffee, slurpee, all beverages 25% off!
老外:「請問你們店裡的招牌是什麼?」
Gaijin (bossy): Wat's ur dam' specialty'n here?
我:「我推薦我們的咖啡還有奶茶或是新鮮現搾的西瓜汁。」
I: Ground coffee, milk tea, and freshly-squeezed watermelon juice are highly recommanded.
老外:「那你們的奶茶是用奶精還是用牛奶做的呢?」
G (picky and pricky): And the creame is made of chemi-powder sht or natural milk?
我:「我們有分一般奶精調製的奶茶跟用鮮奶調成的鮮奶茶。」
I: We've creamed milk tea and milk tea with fresh milk.
老外:「那我要一杯鮮奶茶。」
G: The latter, please.
我:「甜度跟冰塊呢?」
I: On the rocks and with sugar?
老外:「半糖….呃我想還是三分好了,冰塊去冰,然後幫我加珍珠。我另外再買一杯大杯拿鐵。」
G: Half sugar... well, 33.34% sweetened is exactly fine, no ice, with pearl. And another latte to go.
我:「請問您要熱的還是冰的?」
I: Hot or iced?
老外:「室溫就好。」
G (restless): Luke.
我:「那您的拿鐵要封口嗎?還是幫您蓋杯蓋就好?」
I: (OS: So, r u fkn saint or else?) So, thermo-sealed or simply lid-on?
老外:「幫我封口好了。」
G: Sealed please.
我:「好的,打完折後總共 98 元。」
I: OK, and the discount total will be 98.
老外:「抱歉,我只有大鈔。」
G: I've got only thousand-dollar bill, sorry about that.
我:「沒關係,收您一千……找您的 902 元還有發票,稍候一下喔!」
I: That's OK, here's 902 change and receipt, a moment please.
老外:「啊靠北,我要打統一編號。」
G: Oh, sht, I need my Tinp No. on it...
我:「…好的,沒問題,您的編號是?」 我勉強擠出笑容,心中幹譙著:「死老外毛真多,我還要作廢一張發票真麻煩!待會兒拉花就拉一坨屎給你!」
I (irate): No problemo, and the number is? A reluctant chuckle emerged to guise my fury over these fkn fussy furries for tiring invoice adjs... (OS: Why not go eat my sht as the fanciest rosseta?) 
老外:「你們的促銷活動到什麼時候?」
G: When is the promo ended?
我:「我們將持續到6月底。」
I: Till end June.

做完,如願地「拉了一坨屎」在拿鐵裡。
As a genie in the lamp, I conjured up a brand new flavor 'Cafe au Ordure' for the fkn wessi.
我:「謝謝喔,歡迎下次再來。」
I: Thank you, Sir. Hope to see you soon!

【翻飛燕】
蓋比中翻英,蓋妞英翻中;
翻來又翻去,翔窺卅七房。
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