關於愛，我是個小學生。

Deloitte
Deloitte comes from the Greek denomination of "De" and "Loitte". "De" translates directly to "miserable", with "Loitte" translating to "pathetic human being."

by 'urban dictionary', lol:
1) A workplace that appears desirable from outside the doors, but the reality of torture sets in once the HONEYMOON phase wears off (approximately 1-2 months). 
2) A workplace where people a lot less intelligent and a lot more arrogant make decisions that affect your day-to-day.
3) A thankless job. Regardless of gender, employees are essentially overworked prostitutes. The John, being the client, receives services, and the Pimp, Deloitte, slaps said prostitute and tells prostitute to start working on the next John in the line. Most of the time it's a circle jerk. 
4) A workplace where people you start with soon fade away like they never existed, and you sit at your CUBE, disgruntled at how your networking and alliance relationships go down the TOILET. 
5) A workplace where the good people leave, and the rotten stay. 
6) A workplace that motivates you to find another job after two busy seasons MAXIMUM, unless you are into S&M. 
7) A workplace that is good for slackers who b.s. all day, while the people who actually give a damn about the final product, grind away at their desks. 
8) A workplace where meritocracy does not exist. 
9) A workplace where apathy will always have a home.

'Formerly' known as Deloitte Touche Tohmatsu, the name was shortened to just "Deloitte" after it was discovered that "Touche" was a 3rd grade version of the word ass, and Tohmatsu was too difficult to say. 
Members of the Deloitte firm are easy to spot. During the months of January through March, in preparation for hibernation, Deloitters typically put on between 5 and 65 pounds. Additionally, staffers can be seen aging as if they drank from the wrong Holy Grail during this period. The only members of Deloitte who seem to stay a consistent age are the partners, mostly because they drink and bath in the youth and souls of staff members. 
Deloitte is also a microcasm for the problems of American society. The wealth gap is clearly seen in Deloitte, with partners driving Porsche's, and staffers riding their new Dyno freestyle BMX's in January. In addition, Deloitte partners have new HP Tablet laptops, with staffers performing audit work on Abacuses. 
Deloitte staffers can typically describe their lives with the following tickmark: "I traced and agreed my weight gain to the scale in my bathroom without exception. D&T noted that 15 pounds was immaterial to performing audit work. Per discussion with my roommates, I noted that they no longer recognized me. Per further inquiry, they now refer to me as either 'The guy that sleeps in the other room', or 'The vaguely familiar friend'. D&T assessed this explanation from my roommates as acceptable. I footed the number of outstanding bills received from the mail, and noted that it tied without exception to the amount that the bill collector said I owed. I re-calculated my credit score, and noted that the score of 4 was appropriate. D&T passed on further investigation."

'really formal' descriptions from wiki:
In 1845, William Welch Deloitte opened an office in London. Deloitte was the first person to be appointed an independent auditor of a public company, namely the Great Western Railway.[16] He went on to open an office in New York in 1880.

In 1890, Deloitte opened a branch office on Wall Street headed by Edward Adams and P.D. Griffiths as branch managers. That was Deloitte's first overseas venture. Other branches were soon opened in Chicago and Buenos Aires. in 1898 P.D. Griffiths returned from New York and became a partner in the London office.

In 1896, Charles Waldo Haskins and Elijah Watt Sells formed Haskins & Sells in New York.[16] It was later described as "the first major auditing firm to be established in the country by American rather than British accountants".

In 1898, George Touche established an office in London and then, in 1900, joined John Ballantine Niven in establishing the firm of Touche Niven in the Johnston Building at 30 Broad Street in New York.

On 1 March 1933, Colonel Arthur Hazelton Carter, President of the New York State Society of Certified Public Accountants and managing partner of Haskins & Sells, testified before the U.S. Senate Committee on Banking and Currency. Carter helped convince Congress that independent audits should be mandatory for public companies.

In 1947, Detroit accountant George Bailey, then president of the American Institute of Certified Public Accountants, launched his own organization. The new entity enjoyed such a positive start that in less than a year, the partners merged with Touche Niven and A. R. Smart to form Touche, Niven, Bailey & Smart. Headed by Bailey, the organization grew rapidly, in part by creating a dedicated management consulting function. It also forged closer links with organizations established by the co-founder of Touche Niven, George Touche: the Canadian organization Ross and the British organization George A. Touche. In 1952, Deloitte's firm (by then known as Deloitte, Plender, Griffiths & Co.) merged with Haskins & Sells to form Deloitte Haskins & Sells. In 1960, the firm was renamed Touche, Ross, Bailey & Smart, becoming Touche Ross in 1969. In 1968 Nobuzo Tohmatsu formed Tohmatsu Aoki & Co, a firm based in Japan that was to become part of the Touche Ross network in 1975. In 1972 Robert Trueblood, Chairman of Touche Ross, led the committee responsible for recommending the establishment of the Financial Accounting Standards Board.

In 1989, Deloitte Haskins & Sells merged with Touche Ross in the USA to form Deloitte & Touche. The merged firm was led jointly by J. Michael Cook and Edward A. Kangas. Led by the UK partnership, a smaller number of Deloitte Haskins & Sells member firms rejected the merger with Touche Ross and shortly thereafter merged with Coopers & Lybrand to form Coopers & Lybrand Deloitte (later to merge with Price Waterhouse to become PwC). Some member firms of Touche Ross also rejected the merger with Deloitte Haskins & Sells and merged with other firms. In UK, Touche Ross merged with Spicer & Oppenheim in 1990.

Audit provides the organization's traditional accounting and audit services, as well as internal auditing and IT control assurance. In 2018, it accounted for 24% of worldwide revenue share. Investors in Guangdong Kelon Electrical Holdings Company Limited have claimed that there was a failure to alert them to the company's poor financial position. Deloitte claims it did a good job on the project. Deloitte's global CEO defended the firm's work on the Kelon matter. The firm was the auditor for thirty months from 2002 to 2004. It qualified its opinion in 2004 as to company sales, returns, and allowances. The firm resigned from the Kelon account after completing the 2004 audit. Deloitte said it resigned from the account because management at the client was not committed to best practices in finance.